The "Why" Behind Supportive Lactation

The following I wrote over a year ago, but it sat lonely in my phone notes like most of my random brain thoughts do. I process a lot of thoughts through writing, and am ready to share my journey in hopes it will resonate and help even one mom not feel alone.

I confess: I am sitting in the quiet of my bedroom behind a locked door to write this. It has been one of those evenings that has pushed me to the brink of my sanity. The 3 kids God graced my husband and me with have been, well… challenging. That’s putting it kindly. I am in a season of life, and perhaps you are too, that I feel like I can’t think straight. My mind and attention are being diverted in so many directions. The 3 year old demanding the hundredth snack, but he hasn’t had a decent meal. The 8 year old asking if she can watch another show, but she’s had quite enough and needs to study now. The 12 year old telling me how to parent properly. So appreciated. ;)

Some days it feels like all too much, and I tell my husband I want to run away to a 5 star resort and just lay on the beach with nobody asking anything of me. I used to feel guilty for having those thoughts, but I am convinced we ALL have them and it just makes us human.

This looks like a nice place to transport in the craziness of motherhood. ;)

Do you know what keeps me semi-sane and pressing on, even when I can't escape for a week? When I have support, i.e., when my husband steps in and tells me to take some time for myself (or sometimes I have to tell him that is what I need because unfortunately he doesn't t read my mind). It helps immensely when a friend simply listens, relates and encourages me, when the grandparents take the kids for a night so my husband and I can reconnect and gather our thoughts. Those moments are life-giving, simply to know I am not alone and have people coming alongside me in the craziness.

I chose the name Supportive Lactation for my small business because I know how important having support in all aspects of life is. I can say wholeheartedly that it makes a huge difference to know someone has your back and is coming alongside you in the crazy. It doesn't necessarily make the crazy go away, but it eases the mental load. And Lord knows, the mental load for moms these days is heavy.

If you're mentally feeling like this, you're not alone.

The postpartum period comes with a unique set of challenges-- not just physical, but mental too. Many women go through an identity crisis and feel guilty for the feelings they are having.

Quite frankly, the fourth trimester was a very dark time for me, especially after my first 2 babies. I often felt isolated and sad, cried many tears alone. I felt unsure of myself, had absolutely nothing figured out. It wasn't even that I completely lacked a support system, because I absolutely had people that loved me and showed up. For some reason, I felt guilty that I was having such a hard time adjusting, I didn't share that side of what I was going through. The thoughts in my head felt overwhelming and sometimes shameful.

Instead, I bottled it up and put on a smile as much as I could. "Everything is fine", is what I wanted people to think. Why do we do that sometimes? I think I felt like I had something I needed to prove. I also have a personality that doesn't want to "inconvenience" people, something I have done a lot of work examining and working on over the last several years.

This was shortly after I got help for postpartum depression.

A lot more to share, but from my first baby fast forward 12 years. I have helped thousands of moms in their postpartum and breastfeeding journeys in the first few days in the hospital setting. I’ve been able to walk alongside friends and family members at home and help them meet their breastfeeding goals. It’s been humbling, rewarding, and has been an easy "why" for me. I always strive to really see a person before I go in trying to "fix" whatever issue they are having. I want to understand what your goals are and what your day to day looks like, as well as how are you doing mentally and what is actually doable for you.

I will be using this space to discuss a variety of topics in the postpartum and breastfeeding realm. I am looking forward to sharing more of my personal journey and also practical and evidence-based advice to help you or a loved one be successful with your breastfeeding journey! Please let me know what topics you'd like to read more about. Thanks for supporting me in my new venture!